The Lies of Being Productive
What do you do? It’s often one of the first things someone you just met asks you.
This introductory question speaks volumes about where we place our worth. Instead of asking each other what we like, how we feel, or what brings us joy, we jump to what do we do. This simple yet powerful question makes our “doing” more important than us just “being.” While it isn’t the primary reason we diminish our worth, it does contribute to it and to our stress.
When we focus on our doing we end up telling ourselves “I’m not good enough unless I...work out today, forgo that donut, take on another work project, get all the housework done in one day, attend all the zoom meetings I was invited to…” you fill in the blank. This mindset of needing to constantly produce leads to feelings of stress, overwhelm, anxiety, depression, guilt, and low self worth. We take on WAY more than we can handle all to prove that our doing makes us worthy. Yet so often, the more we take on the worse we feel, not better.
As a recovering perfectionist and sufferer of PTSD, I know these lies all too well. The tape stuck on play that says “that email wasn’t worded well,” “other people work multiple jobs, you’re just not doing it right,” “you’re not doing enough,” “you’re not good enough unless you teach another class, make another video, create more business development plans at work,” etc., etc. The list could really go on for pages and I know I’m not the only who has these thoughts on a daily basis. I hear about it from my community ALL THE TIME.
So many busy professionals are constantly telling themselves the lie that productivity equals worth. So much so that they get guilt feelings when they try to relax. Just sitting on a couch reading a book or watching a show has their minds racing with “I could be doing xxx right now.” OR if they did manage to relax then getting mad at themselves the next day because they have sooooo much more work to do.
Does this sound familiar to you?
Lately I’ve been working on trying to do less and relax more. I’ve even been pulling away from social media a bit. While it’s something I coach others on, it’s something I continue to struggle with myself. I still hear those voices that tell me “I’m not doing enough, I’m less worthy because I took some to rest, and that I need to do more.” BUT I now catch those thoughts before they spiral out of control.
I am worthy of rest and relaxation AND more importantly of just being me. So are you!!! So when those lies pop in your head that you’re not doing enough, tell them you are and go back to relaxing.
None of us can work 24/7, juggling multiple projects in work and in life. We all need time to rest and recharge and we don’t need to feel guilty or less worthy when we take that time. Know that you are worthy and good enough by just being you, NOT by what or how much you do.
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