Lessons from 2020: Acceptance and Adaptability
2020 is almost over!!!
This year has been challenging on so many fronts. There was the pandemic which increased stress (especially with work or a lack thereof for many people), fear, and grief. There was sooo much grief over lost loved ones, what we knew as our “normal” way of living, and missing out on traditions.
For me there was also grief around losing my mom last November and dealing with all those firsts. I also dealt with a change in my relationship with my partner and learned how to live solo again.
But if it’s one thing 2020 brought us is lessons. I had two huge lessons from this year that I want to share with you because maybe they help bring you some ease to your mindset for the year that’s closing. We don’t want to bring the fear and stress with us into 2021, so let go of what you can, especially anything that may have angered you or caused you to build resentments this year. So what are these lessons I learned? They’re acceptance and adaptability.
Acceptance
Acceptance is something I’ve been working on for a good seven years now. For me, the best definition of acceptance came out of the Big Red Book from Alcoholics Anonymous. It reads, “[...] and acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.”
2020 certainly did not turn out how I, or anyone for that matter, expected it to. I was frustrated, sad, lonely, mad, overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, and a whole lot of other not so great feelings. That was until I started to accept my situation as it was at that moment. By releasing the control of how something “should” be, I began to open myself up to accept how things are right now, knowing that nothing stays the same forever. This helped me realize my loneliness will pass, so in the moment I can accept that I feel lonely.
Acceptance helps with interpersonal relationships too. I have a complicated relationship with my family to say the least. But I can begin to accept them for who they are at this moment. This has helped me fend off several arguments and release a lot of resentments I have towards my family.
There’s another great saying that comes out of the 12-Step groups, and that is the serenity prayer, “[...] grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Just saying this prayer a few times has helped me stay present and find some peace during difficult moments.
Adaptability
In science if you don’t adapt you don’t evolve. 2020 has been a great example of the importance of adaptability. We’ve had to adapt to new work environments, school/home environments, shopping, socializing, and mask wearing. Again at first, many of these things were hard for me. It took me a long time to adapt to some and there were some I couldn’t adapt to like home-schooling while working full time. Fighting the changes weren’t helping me though. By fighting all of it I felt angry and emotionally drained. After accepting my situation, I began to adapt. I pivoted my health coaching business from in-person workshops to building an online course. I adapted teaching yoga from in-person studios, to in-person parks and virtual teaching. I adapted to wearing a mask even while teaching yoga. I adapted to living alone again, which I’ve now found I really enjoy.
When we give up the fight against change and learn to adapt to our situations and surroundings we allow ourselves to grow. We can let go of the ideas of how something “should” be and allow life to unfold.
As we begin a new year, I invite you to check in with how you feel and see if you can accept it for what it is in the moment. Focus on acceptance and adaptability. Build new instead of trying to change the past. Know what’s done cannot be changed. Learn from it and let it go.
I wish you a happy and healthy new year. I look forward to exciting changes and opportunities to share with you. May you find acceptance and adaptability in 2021.
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